Happy 6th birthday, Luna. Today, you are an orphan, thousands of miles away from me and tomorrow you still will be and the day after that. In fact, I wonder if you even know that today is your birthday. But sometime, pretty soon in this coming year, that will change. It promises to be a year of great emotions, both wonderful and really hard. We're gonna go through some stuff, you and I. I'm going to count this birthday as a count down to your next birthday, at which time, hopefully, <crosses fingers> you will be beginning to believe, truly, that you are a much loved and wanted daughter. Happy birthday, Luna, with all my love – Mom
She turned six and, while this is a really wonderful thing, we aren't together to celebrate it. So, we lit her candles, we blew them out, and we enjoyed her cake while the boys took turns screaming as loudly as they could, "Happy birthday, Luna!" in hopes that she could hear them all the way in China (and I pretended to hear her holler back "xie xie" or "thank you" in Mandarin.) Then, I put half of the cake into the freezer so that she can have a piece of it when she finally gets here.
She's a part of our family, already, even if she doesn't know it. And, we miss her.
There has been more paperwork to fill out, including this one tiny piece that I LOVE. I remember it from Q-Boo's adoption. It was the first time that I've gotten to write down, on an adoption document, Luna's full name that we are giving her, with our last name on the end. Somehow, just doing that makes it feel official.
Also, since we're DTC, they've allowed us to send her a photo album with pictures of us, some very small "transitional items," pictures drawn for her from her new siblings, and a letter to her, from us. We get to send her a letter. A letter. What do you say to your new, six year old, daughter? I tried to imagine her opening the album and looking at pictures of this unknown family, this family from across the world, complete strangers, who are so excited about meeting her and are coming to take her away from all that she's ever known...and she isn't sure if she's excited to meet them or not. She isn't even sure what "family" is. This is hard. It sounds so romantic, "an orphan gets a family!" But there are such harsh realities associated with it, also. I tell people, sometimes, that in order to really understand it, you have to un-Disney your brain. This is not <cue music> "a sweet little orphan getting rescued," it's that and so much more. So.Much.More. My daughters will always be some of the bravest people that I'll ever meet.
"Hello...we can't wait to meet you...it's okay to be scared..."
Luna's bed is all put together and in its spot. We're ready for her. It's nice to have it as it's become our official staging area for all things Luna.
Even my toes are getting in on the act, they are covered in a Jamberry Wrap called, yep, "Luna." The wraps were a gift from my Jamberry Nails consultant who helped us with an adoption fundraiser, last month. Neither my toes, nor my wrap application, would ever win beauty contests (for that matter neither would my floors, don't look too closly) but this is fun.
It's about time for some fun in this process!
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| 9-19-15 "Heather's Moon" |
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